Sing A Longs With Trapped Rabbit
by Trapped Rabbit
Summary: A bunch of random songs I wrote about Harry Potter at 2AM. Includes poetic gems suchs as, Cho, Cho, You're right, it is your fault Cedric died!, Dumbledore, and now you're dead, and now your dead, you melon head. Rated for langauge.
1. Umbridge, Nowhere to Cho&Melonhead

**Dumbledore**

Dumbledore, you are really thick  
You're a sissy little runt  
You got yourself killed by a stick  
Snape murdered you,  
Because he thinks you are a  
(pause)  
Melon head

And now you're dead  
And now you're dead  
And now you're dead  
You melon head

And sometimes you get what you deserve  
Ever since Voldie started, you've been  
Trespassing on his turf

In the words of my mum  
You were a moron  
to think a man could change  
And now they've gone and used you  
As their own wand firing range

And now you're dead  
And now you're dead  
And now you're dead  
You melon head

You were killed by a wooden stick,  
By a man who's hair is really,  
Really, really, slick,  
With grease,  
And another thing,  
What were you thinking when you hired Slughorn?  
He's so obese.  
-&-

**Umbridge  
**Umbridge,  
Umbridge,  
Could you really, ever, be more of a bitch?

Umbridge,  
Umbridge,  
We all hate you, why won't you die?

You're as ugly as sin,  
You're not that thin,  
You look like a toad,  
You have wrinkly skin,

You made Harry bleed,  
And that's just not cool,  
Why won't you leave?  
Get out of our school!

Umbride,  
Umbridge,  
Could you really, ever, be more of a bitch?

Umbridge,  
Umbridge,  
We all hate you, why won't you die?

We really, really hate you,  
No one wants to date you,  
Not even Professor Slughorn,  
And he's really fat,  
He'd rather look at porn,

Umbridge,  
Umbridge,  
Could you really, ever, be more of a bitch?

Umbridge,  
Umbridge.  
We hate you, why won't you die?

We. Hate. You. Why won't you… Die?

-&-

**Cho  
**Cho, Cho,  
There's no  
where you,  
can go,  
Cho, Cho,  
You. Are. A. Ho.

Cedric died because you suck!  
It's harsh but true!  
You really, really suck!  
No one wants you!

Cho, Cho,  
No one wants Harry Potter's  
Sloppy seconds  
Cho, Cho,  
Even Slughorn would turn you down,  
And he's really round  
Oho!

Cho, Cho,  
There's no,  
Where you,  
Can go,  
Cho, Cho,  
You. Are. A. Ho.

Cho, Cho,  
Everyone hates you  
It's harsh but true  
You're right  
It is your fault Cedric died  
Go in your corner and cry!

Cho, Cho,  
It sucks to be you,  
Cho, Cho,  
It's harsh but true  
Everyone hates… a-you

-&-

**It's a gem of a story, no?**

**Asta La Cheetos, you gernaium-infested bubblewrap victims,  
Trapped Rabbit**


	2. The Ron Song and Cats&Dogs Love

**Cats and Dogs Love**

And I know you're a cat,  
And I'm a person-turned-dog,  
But you might find that,  
We could be great together, mhm,

It might seem sick  
But let me give you a lick  
We'll find a hollow,  
And have some fun, do you follow?

CHORUS  
And it might seem ew,  
But let me tell you-hu,  
And this is entirely true,  
I think I'm in love with you,  
(I'm in love with a cat)  
-x2

And just give me a clue,  
On what I can do-hoo,  
To plea-hease, you,

You can call me Paddiefoot,  
And I can call you Crookiepoo,  
I'll never give you the boot,  
(I'm in love with a cat)

CHORUS

I'm in love with a … cat

**The Ron Song  
**CHORUS  
I thought you were the one,  
Our relationship was so fun,  
Hermoine got you in the end,  
I loved you Ron,  
Your were my boyfriend,

I fell for you grin,  
And your stupid red hair,  
And now I'm in,  
The depths of despair,

Weasley wansn't worth it,  
He thought that he was a hit,  
But,  
He couldn't really snog for shit,

I fell for your laugh,  
And for your crinkily eyes,  
Your gold and red scarf,  
Who knew you were full of lies?

CHORUS

I fell for your smile,  
And how you made me feel tiny,  
Who knew that all the while?  
You were in love with Hermione,

I fell for your twinkle,  
I thought you were sincere,  
I thought you were cool,  
Turns out you weren't all here,

CHORUS


	3. Pansy Doginson&Potterpill

**Pansy Doginson**

oh my god,  
you're such a dog  
oh my god,  
you're such a dog  
oh my god,  
you're such a dog,  
Pansy Parkins-ooooooooooooooo-n

you're a bitch  
a computer glitch  
but you don't know what a computer is  
because you're a pure blood, for shizz

you look like a messed up whore  
and what's more  
you are catty comments galore  
and Draco thinks you are a bore  
for sure

and, in case you didn't realize:

oh my god,  
you're such a dog  
oh my god,  
you're such a dog  
oh my god,  
you're such a dog,  
Pansy Parkins-ooooooooooooooo-n

it's not a suprise  
that all the guys  
want to see  
your demise

Malfoy's just stringing you along  
ding-a-ding, ding-a-long,  
you're so hate-worthy,  
we wrote a song

and it goe's like this:

oh my god,  
you're such a dog  
oh my god,  
you're such a dog  
oh my god,  
you're such a dog,  
Pansy Parkins-ooooooooooooooo-n

Oh. My. God.  
You're. Such. A. Dog.

**Potterpill**

you'll be brave  
until you reach your grave  
but still we think  
you're slightly depraved

Chorus:  
Harry, Harry Potter  
we love you like a brother  
but we've come to disover  
you need medication  
Potter, get a pill  
Potter, get a pill  
Potter, don't be a dill  
Potter, get a pill

collapsing in classes  
hearing hissing voices  
wearing awful glasses  
making bad girl choices

they're all signs  
that's you're insane  
they're all signs  
that you're deranged

Chorus

And we'll be waiting for you in sane land  
waiting until you stop screaming and  
waiting until we make up a decent band

and...

Chorus


End file.
